I was deeply disturbed when my editor Robert Requintina wrote about the Ana Jalandoni case against Kit Thompson on violence against women. I could not believe someone as beautiful and as perfectly svelte as Ana could suffer such an ordeal. But then again, anybody can fall victim to violence. I am a staunch supporter of violence against women and children because apparently a lot of women do not know that they have a right not to be hurt by anyone and if this right is violated, the perpetrator can go to jail.
A lot of women also think that violence against women deals only with physical abuse which is the reason why I wrote this article to educate the women reading my article that five kinds of violence you can report or file a case on should it happen to you – aside from the physical abuse, there is sexual abuse, emotional, economic and psychological abuse which I would like to discuss in my column.
Physical abuse involves hurting or trying to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, burning, grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hair-pulling, biting, denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use, or using other physical force on a partner. It may include property damage. This is the case that Ana filed against Kit, whose bruises in her eye were allegedly caused by her partner Kit. I was proud of her stand and shout out to all women, “Sa mga babaeng katulad ko na nakaranas ng ganitong pangyayari, huwag kayong matakot dahil unang una, hindi tayo dapat sinasaktan ng mga lalaki. Hindi dapat tayo pinagbubuhatan ng kamay. Kailangan labanan natin ang takot na yan. Hindi dapat gayahin ito ng kahit na sino man. Huwag po kayong papayag na sasaktan kayo.”
Violence against women does not limit to physical abuse. Verbal abuse and emotional abuse can be reported as well. If your partner calls you stupid or in Filipino “gago”, these types of verbal abuse that can cause deep emotional trauma can be reported and filed a case on. Words like floosy (malandi in Filipino) or useless/ignorant used everyday by a partner can make women experience sleepness nights of mental and emotional abuse. Emotional violence includes undermining a person’s sense of self-worth through constant criticism; belittling one’s abilities; name-calling or other verbal abuse; damaging a partner’s relationship with the children; or not letting a partner see friends and family.
Psychological violence is very different from emotional violence. Psychological violence involves causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner or children; destruction of pets and property; “mind games”; or forcing isolation from friends, family, school and/or work. When your partner says, “Kapag nagsumbong ka, papayin kita at mga anak mo”, better record that because that will hold in the courts of law.
Economic violence involves attempting to make a person financially dependent by maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, and/or forbidding attendance at school or employment. If your partner forces you not to work so that you are soley dependent on him, that is economic violence.
Sexual violence involves forcing a partner to take part in a sex act when the partner does not consent. Let’s face it, there are just days when we do not feel like making love to our partners, we might have a headache or our menstrual monthly visitor is there. Partners who force sex on their partners can be reported.
Lastly, due to our recent technology, we already have what you call online or digital violence against women. This refers to any act of violence that is committed, assisted, or aggravated by the use of information and communication technology (mobile phones, the Internet, social media, computer games, text messaging, email, etc.) against a woman because she is a woman. Online violence can include the following: Cyberbullying, which involves the sending of intimidating or threatening messages. Non-consensual sexting involves the sending of explicit messages or photos without the recipient’s consent. And doxing, which involves the public release of private or identifying information about the victim.
Should you experience any of these above, please contact your lawyer. If you have no capacity, your local government shall give you a free lawyer to fight for your rights.
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